As a single Christian female blogger, I have purposely avoided one category in particular because I feel like it has been beaten into the ground repeatedly, exhaustedly over-communicated. It now lies breathless – the words of single Christian girls everywhere attempting to grasp and comprehend its purposes and hidden mysteries. We all take a stab at it. We seek God, gain bits of revelation and attempt to piece them together as more single females come together, bringing additional pieces with them to fill in the space. This dumb category. How often our conversations in our twenties turn to it.
And ultimately, Contentment.
I have kept these things at arms-length away from my blog.
Correction: I have kept these things football fields away from my blog.
Arrogantly, I haven’t wanted to be a stereotypical single Christian female blogger.
Notice I said arrogantly.
Because my heart bursts to write about the thing I pray most consistently about. And I refuse to consider it an embarrassment any longer.
I refuse to be shamed and swallowed up by insecurity about the fact that my husband has already had hours upon hours of prayer sown into his life. This place of intercession that I stand in for his day-to-day life, even when I have no idea who he is, is powerfully and actively changing things. And the enemy would love nothing more than destroy it.
I refuse for this to be classified as an MRS degree.
I refuse to believe that this is a sub-par call on my life.
I refuse to believe this is just a mediocre mission.
Think of an awesome, influential, God-fearing, single man that you know. An unmarried man in his 20’s or 30’s…who leads with confidence, preaches with Heavenly authority, loves servant-heartedly. A man who urges other people into the throne room of Heaven, who calls other men to higher standards of honor and purity.
What if it’s possible that the life-changing encounters with God he has today, the revelations he gets in this moment, are all because there is some woman, somewhere, talking to God about the husband she hasn’t met yet and praying into the places of his life that no one else will get a chance to that day.
What if it’s possible that he is the man he is because of the prayers the woman he doesn’t know yet prays.
You see, it’s not about this fairytale marriage. It’s not about the dream wedding.
It’s about knowing and fully embracing the fact that the prayers I pray for my husband are not only actively affecting his life in this moment, but they are actively affecting someone who I will get to be lead by, loved by, and known by for the majority of my life. I get to live with the results of these prayers.
I’m tired of making excuses about it. I’m tired of condemning myself – that when I pray for him, it’s really my romantic heart and emotions, carrying me away into this dream world, where being married means life is perfect and I should really focus my entire prayer life on more important things.
So I won’t make excuses about it. I will not shelve the urges to change a man’s life who I will one day share everything with.
My choice to pray for him is providing some of the most pivotal moments of his life.