When You Can’t See the Horizon

I lived in Texas for 5 years. Finding forests and mountains were a rare and delightful gift. Highways were flat and straight and wide-open fields were everywhere you looked. And I didn’t mind.  In those 5 years, I witnessed some of the most astonishingly beautiful sunsets. I became captivated by how far ahead I could look… the potential that I could always watch the sun set and the sky change, minute by minute, second by second. I could see what was coming. I could enjoy the process of seeing exactly what was happening.

But often when I would go home, I would become re-captivated by the atmosphere in Appalachia. My senior year of college in particular, my heart began to burn and ache for the mountains. I missed autumn. I missed seeing leaves change colors. I missed the word “crisp” being used to describe the weather. I missed forests.

In the process of praying through and then deciding to move to North Carolina, my heart began to burn again at the excitement of the mountains. And then God started to give me prophetic pictures of me as a forest….saying “There’s rain for the rainforest” which has come to mean to me that water is attracted to water. God always shows up when people are desperate for Him and cultivate a desperate heart for His presence. 

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What I never connected, though, is that when you agree to be a forest and you agree to live a life of desperation for the presence of God…. you give up the ability to see the horizon.

See, I rarely see sunsets here. And I often can’t find WalMart or the movie theatre or Kinko’s because so many trees are hiding it. There are trees literally everywhere…cultivating a desperate heart for God….but the horizon can’t be seen.

Being hungry for more of Him means I need Him to guide me when I’m completely blind. Being hungry for more of Him means my faith in His goodness is being tested.

And I’ve realized faith is way more blind than love. That’s why you do trust falls at team-building camps standing backwards and blindfolded. It’s not to test your love for people. It’s to test your faith.

It all comes back to the mystery of things. Having faith that there’s going to be a flood of revival in Raleigh means I’m not going to see it coming over the horizon.

Texas was a time of cultivating prophetic vision for my life – a season where promises upon promises were poured out and rooted deep inside of me; a time where the horizon was in sight.

But prophetic words aren’t pouring in in this season. And the promises I cling to are from months and months ago.

And I can’t see the horizon.

But He remains consistent.

I know my heart is desperate for the presence of God.

So because He’s faithful and because He’s good, I know He’ll come.

And I’ll wait in the forest with holy expectancy.

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