For those of you interested, I’m going to attempt to make this my “here’s what my life looks like now” blog post.
Life in Raleigh finally has a rhythm. After living here for a month and a half, I’ve begun to move in the ebb and flow of the real world – post Antioch Discipleship school, post college, and post Waco.
This season of life has been looming in the distance for so long. The season where I would actually have a full-time job, be responsible for all of my own bills, where I would follow the voice of God obediently to a city I only knew a handful of people – in a way, it almost seemed like it would always be on the horizon. And honestly, there was a tiny part of me that wondered if it would actually ever happen.
But here I am, fully and completely immersed in the real world and walking into the promises of God.
About a month ago, I accepted a job as a middle school Latin and Art teacher at a private Christian school in Durham. Two and a half weeks ago, we began our teacher in-service and I kicked my summer out the front door without even waving goodbye.
After spending a month in Raleigh, learning how to hope, trying to maintain vision, learning how to press in to community and trust Jesus like never before, fighting fear and doubt, crying, risking, and gaining some of the deepest revelations about Jesus I’ve ever gotten in my life, it seemed like everything took a dramatic turn almost overnight. My days went from being occupied with job-hunting, 2-hour quiet times, and house-decorating to syllabus-prepping and lesson-plan-writing in a matter of seconds. Long gone are the days of spending hours at local coffee shops. Long gone are the days of sleeping till 8:30 am or staying up until 11:00 pm. And long gone are the days of ramen noodles. (Praise Jesus about that last one.)
But my goodness…I. Love. My. Job.
I have never been so sure that I was made to do something in my life. I feel energized and alive when I’m teaching my kids. And I could go on for hours about my school and co-workers. (They seriously are the bomb.)
But when the world gets busy, and life gets crowded, choosing Jesus has been harder than ever. It’s amazing to me that when I had to trust God for every single one of my needs, I felt so filled. But the more full my schedule becomes, the bigger of an effort I have to make to keep my spiritual tank full.
I’m still convinced of this one thing – I so need Jesus. Even in a private Christian school. Even when I have lifegroup once a week, discipleship once a week, and church once a week. I SO need Jesus. Now more than ever. So when I made the decision to become a teacher, I made the decision to keep needing Jesus. I made the decision to keep meeting with Him every morning, regardless of what time that means I have to wake up. When my financial needs have been supplied, I still need Jesus. When my relational needs have been met, I still need Jesus. I am always going to keep needing Jesus. And I am always going to keep choosing to need Him, regardless of when the world will tell me I have enough. I haven’t found anything else that fills like Him. He’s so worth being needed. And He loves being needed!